My Heart
by MoriMiho1012
Summary: Ulquiorra, even after being turned into dust, cannot disappear. His heart still exists, the heart he had lost so many years before. He knows who is the person who keeps it and he needs to find her.
1. Where is the heart?

My first fanfic of Bleach. I don't own this show, sadly. Please, review it.

**Chapter 1: Where is the heart?**

_What am I now?_ That being asked himself whenever he recovered consciousness. He no longer had a form or any clue that could indicate to anyone what he used to be. He didn't have a body; he couldn't see or hear anyone, not even feel the pain.

Whenever he recovered consciousness, he kept asking himself how come he still had a self. He should have disappeared, or at least, he thought so.

It is said that when a hollow is cut by a shinigami, this hollow has the soul saved and can go to Soul Society. But what about the Espadas? Could each soul that composed the Espada be saved separately? If so, the so-called Espada's conscience should vanish, right?

But he still existed, somehow. Hs mind was still there, wherever "there" was.

Memories tormented him, he was sure he had never lived those things while he was under Aizen's orders.

There was a car… he was driving it? It seemed so. Was he human? A random soul or the soul of the predominant conscience that made the identity he had as Cuarta Espada? Could it be just a hallucination?

It felt real. He knew it was real.

He was returning from the supermarket with groceries. He was going to see someone important. There was a tiny photo of a woman with light brown hair that he always kept in his wallet. _My wife_. He loved her… he was happy.

A red car came from nowhere. The driver and the woman at his side were very drunk. When that person noticed, he was floating at the sky, watching the scene from above. A broken chain rested in his chest. He could see when the paramedics took a young man out of the blue car he recognized as his. That young man had black spiky hair and green eyes, which were still opened despite the fact that the body was already dead.

_The person I was once… when I died. I shouldn't have died. It wasn't fair!_

The tears began to fall from his eyes and they didn't stop. He would never see his wife again; he would never touch her once again. He was consumed by the Hatred. Those people had to pay for what they had done!

He was incapable to leave them, but wasn't able to do anything, since he couldn't touch them for some reason. He watched the couple for days, feeding his hatred. They had a fifteen years old boy who used to lecture them and talk about some "Orihime" while pointing to the mother's belly.

The woman was pregnant of a little girl, but the spirit couldn't care about it. One night, the rest of the chain he had was completely deteriorated and the young man began to transform. A white mask took over his face and he felt wings growing at his back. An immense energy was running through his body, he could feel it. He could take his revenge now.

With a punch he broke the window of the little apartment in which the family lived and entered it. The mother, who was in the kitchen, was compressed against the wall by the creature and cried out for help, but her husband, who had been in the living room, ran away from the apartment. The son tried to reach the invisible being with a chair, but he was thrown at the opposite direction by the movement of the wings.

Suddenly, a horrible pain was felt in his chest. A hole was being formed in the place where his heart was supposed to be. The beast looked down and saw a weak white light leaving the hole and being transferred to the mother's belly.

The pain made him insane. He let go of the woman and flew through the broken window, screaming. In some days, he would be taken to Hueco Mundo by other hollows, where he would fight and evolve. He would forget about the events he lived in the Human World and get used to the emptiness in his chest. Soon he wouldn't remember he had once a heart.

But he met that woman.

_Where is the heart? I see… what is in my hand now…_

_Woman, do you fear me?_

The second they touched, right before he died, was the moment he finally realized who that woman was.

_She's the one who holds my heart. My heart still exists… I still exist thanks to her. I need to find her._


	2. The shadow

Sorry for the long time without posting. I hope you like this chapter.

**Chapter 2: The shadow**

Ulquiorra didn't know for how long he had floated in nothingness, trying to escape from that condition and search for his heart. After a time that felt like centuries for him, he heard a voice and felt his existence being pulled to somewhere.

"17 months have passed… I wonder if Kurosaki-kun still thinks about Kuchiki-san." That voice was very familiar to Ulquiorra. It was the voice of that woman, the keeper of his heart.

In a sudden, he saw himself standing in a desert street of the human world. For his surprise, he felt he had a body or something similar. He looked down and saw two legs wearing brown pants and feet in black shoes. Above those legs, a white shirt with buttons and long sleeves covered him. He examined the arms stretched in his front amazed; he had white and pale hands, but in a normal tone of skin, not that one he had while he was an Espada. Ulquiorra ran his hands through his hair and didn't find any sign of extra-cranial bones. If anyone saw him, would think he was just a regular human. However, he didn't think anyone could see him, not even a human with the ability to see spirits. His body was barely visible; it was hard to distinguish it. Even for a spirit, his image was too faint.

_Kurosaki-kun didn't want to see Sado-kun with me. Well, I'm probably just over thinking. He was busy today, that's all. It's not as if he didn't want my presence or anything._

Coming in his direction, Ulquiorra saw her. She had a long and bright hair and was wearing a school uniform. Inoue Orihime was walking with a serious and sad expression on her face. He couldn't define what he felt when he saw her, but it was surely a strong feeling. That woman had some odd effect over him, an effect he wasn't able to erase.

_What can I do for him? What can I do for Kurosaki-kun to look at me? I haven't seen him smiling like he used to do when Kuchiki-san was around._

Ulquiorra soon noticed that Inoue Orihime wasn't talking. Somehow, he was able to hear her thoughts. Her sadness reached him as knives and he couldn't avoid wishing for a smile to appear in those lips of hers.

A smile like the one she gave him when he was turning to dust.

She was approaching him slowly, looking at his direction, without being able to notice his presence. Ulquiorra could realize that and another strong emotion that he couldn't define took him over.

_If Kurosaki-kun had never met Kuchiki-san, he wouldn't be depressed like that and he would see me in a different way… if he had never met Kuchiki-san… if she didn't exist…_

Ulquiorra froze when he saw a thick shadow coming out of Orihime's body and wrapping her. _What is that? Darkness? Is it coming from her heart?_

Without thinking, he stretched his arm in her direction, but Inoue still wasn't able to see him there. When his hand was about to touch Orihime's chest, right in the place her heart was, the woman simply passed through him.

He couldn't touch her.

He couldn't feel her, despite they had occupied the exact same space… despite they had been one for a few seconds.

Ulquiorra didn't understand what was happening to him. What was that agony?

He turned around and saw that Inoue had stopped walking. Her long hair covered her back. The strange shadow that had wrapped her instants before had vanished.

_What is this feeling?_ Inoue asked herself, putting her hand on her chest. Her heart was beating in great speed.

"Woman…" Ulquiorra called, waiting for some reaction of the other. Orihime shook her head and walked away.

_It couldn't be him! What am I thinking? Ulquiorra is dead. He was murdered._ Inoue thought, fighting the water that was filling her eyes.

Ulquiorra wasn't willing to lose her, so he followed the woman. He couldn't lose his heart again.


	3. Saved

I can't believe I haven't updated this story since February. OMG, I'm really sorry for that. It never was supposed to be a long fic, but I wanted to see what was going to happen in the manga before writing the rest of the story. The fact is that I seriously didn't like the whole fullbring arc Kubo had created. Really, I was expecting something better than that. Anyway, I think it's time to finally finish this fanfic. Thank you for reading this story and I'm sorry for making you wait for so much time.

**Chapter 3: Saved**

Ulquiorra had followed Inoue until her apartment, because she had given up on going to Sado's place all by herself. There were some stuffed animals around the place, which should show that a happy person lived there. However, that woman wasn't happy at all. She sat on the sofa in her living room and stared at the roof, without turning any lamp on and with the curtains closed.

_Life should be better now. Everything is so normal. Kurosaki-kun doesn't have to fight any of those dangerous battles anymore. It's like before he had met Kuchiki-san… It's just like it._

Ulquiorra approached the woman in order to look closely at her face. Tears had begun to fall from those big eyes of hers, as she embraced her knees, without caring about putting her feet on the sofa.

_Was he so sad back then? With such a lack of vitality, as if he didn't know what to do for life? I never really thought about it. Maybe I never really realized it. It's as if he can't live without her. She's the source of his happiness, his own ray of light. Meanwhile, what am I? I'm just Inoue… I'm just the girl he considers a friend. There's no other way for him to see me. I've known him for so many years… I had all the chances… but I must just accept the truth that his love belongs only to Kuchiki-san._

Ulquiorra saw more of the thick shadow appearing and engulfing Inoue. It was becoming clear to him what that thing was.

Resentment… Sadness… Frustration

_These feelings are the ones I felt when I died. They were so strong and frightening… I was consumed by them. Is it my heart's darkness that is reacting to her own? Even if she has my heart, why is she in such a deep connection to it? Whenever she thinks about Kurosaki Ichigo, she feels so much pain._

Inoue stretched her arm in front of her, as if she was trying to touch something in her front. Ulquiorra could have thought it was him, if he wasn't already sitting next to her on the sofa.

_I always said I loved Kurosaki-kun, but I never really got to know him, have I? I used to think he had a funny face… then I noticed that he was that type of person who protects everyone. I had been alone for so long. I had to endure solitude in those dark nights after my brother had died… without anyone to take care of me. But I couldn't cry. If I cried every time I felt lonely, my brother would be worried over me and wouldn't be able to rest in peace. I had to become stronger and smile… for his sake I had to be tough. But everything was… so difficult. It all became easier when I met Tatsuki-chan. She was so strong and happy… and she taught me karate and how to defend myself. She was the first person in a long time that wanted to protect me. It's so shameful… I liked to be protected by someone else. It was like living my childhood days again, when my brother was still alive and I didn't have t endure the dark nights alone. My smiles weren't so forced anymore. I wanted to be protected._

Ulquiorra felt a discomfort in his inside. To see that woman like that, drowning in the darkness and crying disturbed him. He tried to touch her face, but it was hard do so. The shadow was acting like a barrier, stopping him from getting close to her.

_Am I doing this because I want my heart? I want to take it from her, but is it still because of me? I feel so hurt when I see her like this… she was supposed to be the bright and warm sun, but now… It's not that I never noticed something about her. Her dependency toward Kurosaki Ichigo wasn't something I liked to see, even though I had no idea why. Maybe, somehow, I could tell that Kurosaki Ichigo was a bad thing for her. But I shouldn't have had that type of concern. I shouldn't have any emotion at all. Could it be that since she had my heart I was being influenced by it? What this woman made to me… what she changed me into… it makes me feel uneasy._

Inoue was trembling a bit now, as if she was feeling cold, unaware of Ulquiorra's efforts to get closer to her.

_I'm really the worst. I wanted to be protected so badly that I began to depend on Kurosaki-kun to do it… and I thought it was because I loved him. If that was love, I shouldn't have asked him to save me that time, when he was almost dead. I didn't really think I was in danger… Ishida-kun was, but I asked Kurosaki-kun to save me and I turned him in that horrible monster. I made him kill Ulqiorra._

The shadow became denser and started to grow in all directions, making Ulquiorra be thrown away and hit the wall. Ulquiorra wasn't able to see Inoue inside it anymore. _She's worse than before… when she thought about me… why? _Ulquiorra wondered as he forced himself inside that darkness and walked towards Inoue Orihime. It was so cold and he felt so much pain, but he wouldn't retreat no matter what.

_Ulquiorra didn't protect me. He never treated me like some fragile girl, but the opposite; he always called me "woman" and always talked to me coldly… I never hated him. I don't know what I felt for him, but it wasn't hate, not even after I thought he had killed Kurosaki-kun. For not protecting me, he made me face the cruelty of the world, the solitude… I remembered how it was before I met Tatsuki-chan and Kurosaki-kun. I had to be strong… I felt I was stronger and braver whenever I was around him. In his battle with Kurosaki-kun, I found myself not desiring that any of them got killed… when Ulquiorra died and tried to touch my hand… when he asked me if I was afraid and I replied "no"… It was so hard to hold back the tears. I shouldn't feel that way… Ulquiorra almost killed Kurosaki-kun and Ishida-kun… I shouldn't feel that way toward him. I shouldn't miss him so much._

Ulquiorra struggled as he was getting closer to her_. I have to go forward. I must keep going forward._

Inoue was trembling more.

_I shouldn't feel this strong emotion… this emotion I never felt for anyone else. Why do I feel this? Why do I feel so incomplete since I returned from Hueco Mundo? I thought it was just jealousy for what Kurosaki-kun feels for Kuchiki-san… what if it's something else? Ulqiorra's absence… hurts so much. If he was here… if he was alive… if Kurosaki-kun hadn't murdered him because of me… if he made me stand up for him… if he called "woman" just once more…_

Orihime put both her hand on her head, closing her eyes desperately and letting her face down. She put her feet on the floor again, letting her leap free. _I wish I could have saved him… protected him… took care of him. I wish I haven't let him die!_

"WOMAN!"

Inoue stopped trembling. That voice close to her, could it be? She felt hands holding hers and taking them away from her head. She opened her eyes slowly, looking down at first, to where her hair loops were shining, stuck on her blouse. At her leap, her hands were being hold by transparent male ones. And those hands were becoming more visible gradually. She was totally stunned and refused to believe what her heart was yelling at her.

"Look at me, woman." That voice said again. One of the mysterious hands let go of her right one and was placed under her chin, making Inoue lift her face in order to look who was right in her front. Even though he wasn't so pale anymore, even though he didn't have those green tear stains or those extra-cranial bones, she recognized him. Without knowing if she should smile or cry, she touched his face with her free hand, murmuring "Is this really you? You're really Ulquiorra?"

Without understanding what was happening to him, feeling multiple and warm things at the moment, Ulquiorra nodded.

"Don't cry over me, you saved me a long time ago. Thank you for protecting my heart for so long, woman."

Moving her hand down, Inoue touched Ulquiorra's chest, "You don't have a hole in the place of your heart anymore, but there isn't a chain either. Why?"

"I had lost my heart a long time ago when I attacked the family that had caused my death in a car accident. My heart entered the body of the little baby girl that family had. Later, it became power to that girl and, for an act of fate, she was taken to Hueco Mundo under Aizen-sama's orders and I was responsible for her. I hand't realized it before, not until the very end. But it's because my heart is with you now… and it's because I'm so close to you know… I became what I am."

"How can I return your heart?" She asked in low voice, kind of fearing the answer.

"You don't have to return it as long as we don't drift apart from each other."

Inoue smiled with her eyes. Ulquiorra felt again that warmth inside him as he saw the darkness vanishing completely. He knew she would be fine now, and that made him feel extremely good.

"We can go to Urahara's shop and get a gigai for you, I'll think in what I'll tell him, and you can live with me. It's not a big place, but we can work it out." Orihime said happily, smiling widely. Ulquiorra slowly made a movement with his lips, which only Inoue could notice it was an attempt to smile.

"I think that's good, Orihime."

**The End**

**I'm sorry if this final isn't good, but I really wanted to give an end to this story, instead of letting it without one.**


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